Thursday, January 6, 2011

sugar...no spice...and everything typically bland

I started this blog almost four years ago. It was intended to be a place where students of my cooking classes could find past recipes, an occasional new recipe and have a forum to ask questions. I was unaware at the time, of how many amazing culinary blogs were out there, especially, "home chefs" like myself, who took the mystery out of cooking. I have made many virtual friends throughout this journey, and have enjoyed the camaraderie. I look at how simply this blog began, and clearly can see the growth I have had blogging throughout the years. I didn't realize, that I would feel so responsible to my readers...and feel so neglectful if I didn't regularly post...who knew? So I felt I needed to give you a little background on myself....and my new plan.
Almost three years ago, I received a phone call from Aging Services in California, informing me that my husbands grandmother had been reported as neglected. A couple that was interested in purchasing her home had reported her in hopes to push us to sell her home. I can assure you that she hadn't been neglected, but maybe not cared for in the way that she needed. We had found that Grandma had kept it a secret from us that she was a victim of mortgage fraud...just one of the many victims of the Indy Mac Bank debacle. My husband's father died when he was a young boy and so grandma raised him. We knew it was our responsibility to care for grandma as her own daughter was not interested in helping with the care of her mother. So I found myself a week later driving to California to pack her house up and moving her east to Salt Lake City to live with our family.
No one could have ever prepared me for what this new adventure in my life would be like or become. If anyone would have ever told me I would be a caregiver I might have believed them....if they would have told me that I would have to balance care giving, a marriage and four children...and living next door to my own parents...I would have laughed. That is the funny thing about life, we are extremely adaptable creatures...if we allow ourselves to be. The care giving experience is a roller coaster..that most of the time you would rather watch others ride....it is scary, it is bumpy, it makes you sick, sometimes it thrills you, makes you laugh, often makes you want to scream....but the way I see it, when you are finished you probably will want to ride it again....but won't be able to so you had better enjoy it for what it is worth.
In the years that grandma has been with us, we have survived a short sale (I do not recommend a short sale if you can avoid one), health problems, unhelpful family, dementia, and tax issues caused by the whole mortgage debacle. But we have also enjoyed having grandma, knowing she is well cared for, happy, and content...especially because to her, the joy of waking up to her great grandchildren means everything to her. Unlike raising children, there is a flip side to care giving. You raise your child, celebrating each milestone they reach...when they learn to talk, walk, read, and so on. But with an aging member of the family, you mourn the losses...as their mobility dwindles, they cannot hear you, their vision erodes, and so on. Although, I have tried to anticipate upcoming changes for grandma, they still take me by surprise, and are often time consuming and exhausting. I am constantly amazed at the things that I have said I would never do that I do now. All of this and I am still trying to raise four kids-two of which are teenagers (need I say more?). I have always been a writer, and was shocked to see how completely void of inspiration I became. Even my cooking was suffering...grandma is a bit picky. She would prefer Stouffers Mac and Cheese over the majority of the things I prepare. I was getting a bit plain there for a while. I just couldn't see my blog becoming: Sugar...No Spice..and Everything Typically Bland. Grandma does like a few things I prepare, but for the most part, she is facinated by the fact that people pay me to teach them to cook or spend time reading my blog....lol. What's a girl to do?
The last few months have been extremely difficult for grandma health wise, so I had to re prioritize...and unfortunately left my blogging out in the cold. I will tell you however, that I have been busy cooking and stockpiling great recipes to share with you all. I still intend to continue on with my blog....I love to cook...I love to share...and I refuse to be lost in the title of care giver. So I hope that you can be patient with me as I get the ball rolling again. I love your friendships and comments, it keeps me connected.
So, as I type, I am downloading recipes and pictures to share wth you. Don't be suprised if you find this blog peppered with strange stories about my life now....I need some sort of an outlet.
So please check in Monday for a new volume in this little blog...

4 comments:

Stephanie McGee said...

*hugs*

Life has its priorities. Sometimes, that means that those niceties, like blogging, have to be put on the backburner. You have to allow yourself to see the big picture, know where you need to focus. The internet, blogging, all of that will still be here when life settles itself and you're able to dip your toes back into the blogging waters.

The Survival Mama said...

Thanks for having the courage to share, I didn't know the "rest of the story" that came with Grandma. Hang in there, and I hope her health returns.

Eclectic Boutique said...

Thanks for sharing...I get it! My sister is the caregiver for my mom and I bless her every single day..It takes courage and love...and unending patience..we will be here when you come back.

Sara said...

Thanks gals! Dishing out honesty is harder than dishing out food for sure! Love you girls!